Just once, I'd like a wo/man who treats me like a human being, not an object of sexual desire/gratification.
Just this damn once. But it's not going to happen. Because no matter how nice I try to be to people, I always seem to find those who only seek to use me, or want me because they have no one else, and it hurts.
I'm so damn tired of it all. I'm officially open for prospective partners, because damn, if other men and women can't be civil about dating then I'm going to open it up like a business. Because relationships are business.
And just this once, I would like to be put first for a change. Just once, I want someone to come up to me and ask if I'm okay, so I can finally break down and release everything to them. Because inside this fragile body, there's a soul that's dying. It's howling for a voice, scrambling inside my frame with claws that make me bleed inside my mind. And it scares me, because whenever I turn my attention to myself, I can only see one outcome.
And it's not a very pretty sight. You may have guessed what I'm referring to.
Yes, I probably am suffering from depression. Most likely caused by those men and women who use me for both physical and emotional release.
And it tires me greatly. I hope that one day, I find someone who cares about me more than anything else, and in turn, I care for them.
Because the other prospect - the prospect where I don't hit twenty-five - is becoming an altogether more real reality.